By Dr. Evan Parks—While attending graduate school, a classmate of mine purchased her first car. Unfortunately, within one year the car died and the engine was ruined. She wrongly assumed cars took care of themselves and all that she needed to do was put in gasoline. Many leaders are similar—they ignore taking the necessary steps to maintain spiritual and emotional health, focusing only on leadership tasks until they reach a breaking point.
A typical question I ask struggling leaders goes something like this, “What kind of stress have you been under over the past year?” You might think the answer is a long list of problems, conflicts, and challenges. But the usual answer is, “I am not sure. I do not think this year has been any different than previous years.” Then I follow up by asking about their habits related to maintaining their spiritual, physical, and personal life. They respond, “Well, how am I supposed to do my job, volunteer at the school, help my children’s sports team, take care of my family, plus take care of myself? I do not have time for me.” It does not occur to them they are choosing the life they live and are not victims of their position.
Almost anyone can keep up the pace of running in multiple directions for some length of time, but not forever. When it is a leader who is rushing in every direction, the result may be failure in ministry, failure in their marriage, or failure in their family. There is a cost for not taking care of our physical and emotional health. Here are five signs that a leader is not focusing on their mental wellbeing.
1. The Leaders Does Not Pursue Professional Development
A leader who does not continue to learn and grow professionally will not have the fresh ideas, encouragement, and intellectual stimulation to stay effective in leadership. They will just keep doing what they have always done, but expect different or better results.
2. The Leaders Does Not Recognize Weaknesses
Closely related to professional development is being aware of strengths and weaknesses. Without pausing long enough to look in a mirror, we are not going to see what is obvious to everyone except ourselves. Without a mentor, an objective outsider, or participating in ongoing professional development which help us evaluate ourselves and develop personally and professionally, we can wrongly assume that our skills, qualities, and character are “good enough” for our leadership role.
3. The Leader Does Not Address Organizational Dysfunction
No one likes conflict and most people do not like change. These two factors hold many leaders back from addressing problems and problem causing individuals. Unaddressed problems within an organization drain the leader and the group of energy, enthusiasm, and excitement about the future. Left unresolved, the leader and group simply function from day-to-day without vision or vitality.
4. The Leader Does Not Recognize Accumulated Stress
Many leaders wrongly define stress. They think that stress is something negative, like having interpersonal conflict. Conflict certainly is stressful, but not the only source of stress. Stress is any change to which we need to adapt. For example, within the family changes like children starting school, entering adolescence, leaving home, aging parents, and our own aging process all create the need for us to adjust to change. Leaders often fail to recognize how many changes have occurred over the course of a year. As this stress accumulates, the body responds by raising blood pressure, hormone changes, and increased blood sugar levels, which leads to headaches, muscle tension, weight gain, and sleep disruption.
5. The Leader does Not Protect Personal Integrity
Somewhere along the journey of leading, serving, doing, and helping, leaders can become empty. When we hurt emotionally, we are vulnerable to the basic desire to feel good. How people choose to feel good and address their hurt depends on the individual, but the options for feeling good range from addictions to wasting money. The cover-up starts with vague excuses for working late, unexpected travel, or unrecorded expenses. Nothing obviously wrong is being done, other than a leader creating a private space for something to happen that brings emotional relief and compromised integrity.
Let me know the challenges you have faced in maintaining your spiritual and emotional health. I am looking forward to hearing from you!
