By Dr. Evan Parks—It is hard for us to understand why people who seem nice or put together become self-destructive. A young father gambles away all the money needed to pay bills, or a single woman only flirts with and is attracted to men who are happily married. The behavior of children can be even more confusing—a nice young girl pulls out her hair, or a very healthy boy becomes convinced he has an unknown medical disease. How we explain why people have symptoms greatly influences how much help and hope we can offer.
We are quick to call behavior that looks unusual “abnormal” or “crazy.” The word “crazy” has the connotation that the behavior has no purpose. A simple example might be a person who collects used clothes from thrift stores and garage sales to the point they have no room in their house or apartment for anything else. Looking at the behavior from the outside, it appears crazy. There is no point in having 100, 500, or 1,000 used jackets and coats, even if they are in good condition. This type of behavior might seem crazy, but even hoarding has a purpose.
Rather than see behavior for what it is, purposeful, we have become distracted by research and science that collects data on unusual behavior. While research can be helpful in looking for patterns, in focusing just on the symptom, we can miss the bigger picture of why we do what we do. We often read, “The junk collecting, hoarding behavior is a medical condition called obsessive-compulsive disorder. Looking at brain scans, we can tell this one area of the brain is dysfunctional and the affected person’s neurochemicals are off balance. They have a decrease in serotonin that causes them to collect unnecessary items.”
Looking at all mental health problems as medical diseases is now recognized by many as a mistake. We should be asking the question, “Could acting a certain way change our brain activity so that one part of the brain is dysfunctional and serotonin levels go down?” Yes, our brain activity matches what we think and do. Here is another fair question, “Does everyone who has low levels of serotonin compulsively collect junk?” The answer is no. While a medical explanation may be comforting to the person looking for answers, it provides very little hope for actual change.
If the brain is broken and that is why people behave oddly, then it requires experts to fix the problem. If the brain is not broken and all behavior is purposeful, then it might be possible to help people live in such a way that their needs are met so that there is no need for the unusual behavior or symptom. In actual practice, when people with mental health problems recognize they can change, they do. People who suffer can change how they think, what they do, and be able to express emotions in ways that help them meet their needs.
The Purpose of Behavior
If we are not victims of brains that are broken, where does unusual behavior come from? Picture for a moment a traditional balance scale, like you would see at a fish market. There are weights on one side of the balance scale and fresh fish on the other side. If the scale is balanced, you know how much the fish weighs.
We have needs that we are always attempting to meet. Our basic needs are on one side of the scale; on the other side of the scale is what we think would meet those needs. We have needs for belonging, impact, self-control, freedom, enjoyment, and worth, just list a few. Our behavior is always directed at trying to keep the scale balanced and our needs met.
When our needs are satisfied, the brain gives us feedback that we are doing what is helpful and good. The feedback is satisfaction and happiness. When our behavior directed at meeting our needs fails and the picture we have in our mind is not realized, we also get feedback from the brain. In this situation, we experience unhappiness or pain. Our unhappiness starts the process of looking for a solution to get our needs met. Based on the context of our circumstances and our personal makeup, we may creatively come up with any number of ways to get needs met, like collecting clothes we do not need, becoming phobic, having a headache, or developing severe stomach pain.
What we call mental health symptoms are serious and problematic, but the thoughts, actions, and emotions that the person is expressing with the mental health symptom (depression, anxiety, anger, addiction, odd behavior) have a purpose. Our behavior, even when it is odd, is directed toward getting needs met, even if the need is met very poorly by our failed attempt.
Knowing our behavior, even unhealthy behavior, is our brain’s attempt to solving a problem and getting needs met helps see that we have choice. We can choose to solve our problems without using anger, complaining, or control. Our circumstances do not control what we do–everything we do is a choice. In that, there is freedom. We are not machines responding under the control of our circumstances.
